The Worst Rubber Band Ever

What if gems were elastic?
What if dinosaurs sang operettas?
What if perfume came from peat?
What if pansies ate panda bears?


What if donuts were life preservers?
What if plaid was a secret message?
What if Paris was a virtual reality?
What if a butterfly became Godzilla?


What if we scraped all the paint off
the Mona Lisa and had the most expensive
paintball fight ever?


You need to stop watching so much television.

It's starting to mess with you. Just maybe.