This poem’s name is Gertrude in honor of the compounds my chemistry textbook told me I couldn’t name with people names

Tom Hanks calls the volleyball
because that’s the brand name
my coworker calls his knife
because that’s the company
a friend of the family told me they were creative
in naming their cat
the dragon that Sean Connery voices
in that one movie complains
because the knight responds to his request
not to call him by his species by naming him
his species in a different language

Yet I have been laughed at for naming my plant
after one of the memorable historical figures
in Herodotus’s Histories
for naming every animal in each snow globe
and then mocked for having a single stuffed animal
whose name I don’t remember specifying —
of course the one I don’t remember receiving
as a child, just there to play with
the bears were a set and the one who sat in the lap was
Baby Bear,
obviously, so the big bear was Mama (adorned with pink,
conforming to societal norms),
but I didn’t think of her name as
Mama Bear
anymore than little kids think about their moms’ names
which is why when you ask them what’s your mommy’s name?
“Mommy” —
like it’s obvious and you asked a stupid question
or rather, you answered your own question
and didn’t notice, you doughnut