- Do the dang dishes. Even it’s one dish at a time.
- Buy clothespins. Put them in a drawer so you know where they are, even though you’ll probably never need them.
- If you can’t remember the last time you changed your sheets, it’s time to change your sheets.
- Keep at least 2 cans of tuna in the pantry. You’ll want them at some point, I promise.
- Stash an umbrella in the back seat of your car. Buy a second so you have it to get to your car in the first place.
- Remember that cute pair of shoes you only wore once that you can’t bear to donate? Wear them around the house just to strut your stuff. You go, girl.
- Buy the cheap wine. You won’t feel guilty opening it on a Tuesday night.
- Respond to that text you’ve been ignoring for a week, or a month. Spin an elaborately vague story – “sorry, my mom’s been in the hospital, she’s okay but whew what a scare!” This is important: check first if your mom knows the person. You only make that mistake once.
- Take pleasure in the things around you. This is your hoard. Guard it and cherish it.
- Kick out the annoying roommate and get a dog instead. Unless you are the annoying roommate. In that case, good luck, buddy.
