sometimes I forget
I have anxiety
and I function
–maybe not like a normal
person but at least more
normal for me,
maybe pre-traumatic stress me,
and then it catches up
like the endurance predator
it aspires to be
and I lay panting in the wilderness
waiting for it to gnaw away
the bones that no longer carry
the weight of my inevitable
demise wrapped in a shroud
of once-carnival-bright rainbow
joy and warmth.
the sun doesn’t reach underground,
I must carry my own baggage
down but not even Orpheus
can bring back the sunshine,
it is pale and will shatter
if I look upon it