Flip the Coin

when I am numb

I crave sensation
your fingers tangling
in my hair, wind
at my back, a papercut,
feel pain just to feel something,
it’s always foggy November here

when I feel too much

I long to shut down
everything and feel nothing,
stand as a blank slate,
a tree immune to the whirling
dervishes, cliff faces
unaware of erosion