One of my girlfriends
consulted with me,
and as the resident
expert in such matters,
I would like to pass along
the results of our discussion.

We have agreed
that Thirsty Thursday
may, in fact, count
as going to church,
as long as you say a prayer
before you open
the rosé you’ve been saving.
To double as going to confession,
make the prayer
a rosary,
for religious purposes
as well as for humor.